Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Randomize
