Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Small penises have feelings too.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Randomize
