yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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