Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
