i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Pooping to opera.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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