i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
