You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
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