I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
