No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Randomize
