Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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