billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
