Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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