He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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