youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
