i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Randomize
