My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Randomize
