make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
