i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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