So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
