wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
