Nicole vs. Life
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
