So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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