it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
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