you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
