It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
this will be a night to untag.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
