my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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