Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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