drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
FUCK WHALES
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
