are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Randomize
