Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
