ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
