she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
