either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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