She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize