It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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