i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize
