I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
