it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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