How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
