It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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