I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
no you cant smoke seaweed
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
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