I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Boobs are out for the taking
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
