I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
