Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
