It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize