i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
