I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize
