$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize