we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Randomize
