I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize