I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize