um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
