I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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