i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
