Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Randomize
