Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
