Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
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